I'd like to have a job dreaming up new flower names for the catalogs. You know...the names that make gardeners order more plants they don't need?Like these iris:
BEWILDERED BEAST: a mottled, ugly/beautiful hyena striped thing
HARLOT: frilly pink blouse, black skirt, trashy
PRIDE OF IRELAND: chartreuse, of course
FIT FOR A KING: two-toned purple, an old lady outfit
FIRE BREATHER: solid gold
IMMORTALITY: pure white
And so on--you get the idea. And that's just the bearded iris page. How about a Batflower or some Red Wind Forest Grass? And I might have to order the Purple Prince Trumpet Lily, just because. PURPLE PRINCE!
Bulb catalogs are nothing new, but when it comes to marketing to gullible gardeners they're a brilliant combination of the visual and linguistic. Almost like flower soft porn...A person can easily get carried away, and before you know it you've mailed in a big order. Anyway, the fantasy is over when that box of dry sticks and roots arrives in the fall, and you have to figure out where to plant "Bewildered Beast" in your jungley beds.
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