"What fresh hell is this?"

The author Dorothy Parker is jokingly referred to as the "Patron Saint of Tech Support Workers." When her train of thought was interrupted to answer the phone, she would pick up and shout:
What fresh hell is this?

I guess anyone who solves other people's problems for a living would find that witty. Dorothy also said this:

I require three things in a man; he must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

And this:

Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.