A Squonk's tears

The Squonk

"Have you ever seen a Squonk's tears? Well, look at mine.
The people on the street have all seen better times"

Steely Dan, lyric

I've been listening to Steely Dan music for four decades, and until yesterday I thought Donald Fagan was saying "a Swan's tears" in the song Any Major Dude Will Tell You. Don't you feel silly when that happens? If you like Steely Dan then you'll remember that track from the 1974 Pretzel Logic LP. 

 Here's the marvel of the Internet-- old song lyrics are at our fingertips.  When I was a teenager we would listen to our records until they were worn out trying to understand what the bands were saying. But there's another interesting story behind this strange story. And what's a "squonk?"

Wiki to the rescue:

The squonk is a legendary creature reputed to live in the Hemlock forests of northern Pennsylvania.  Legends of squonks probably originated in the late 19th century at the height of Pennsylvania's importance in the timber industry.

The squonk legend says that the creature's loose fitting skin was covered with warts and blemishes, so it spends much of its life weeping.  When hunters try to capture squonks, they dissolve into a pool of tears and bubbles when cornered.  Leave it to Steely Dan to come up with such a vivid metaphor!

This comes from a wonderful old book called Fearsome Creatures of the Lumberwoods, With a Few Desert and Mountain Beasts, by William Thomas Cox, 1862-1927.  Click Here.

Like a traditional field guide, the book gives Latin names, sketches and description of all sorts of fanciful and fearsome make-believe critters. 

There's a description of each habitat, physical looks and behavior along with a brief anecdote detailing a human encounter with the animal. Fearsome Creatures is considered a work of "metafiction" or "romantic irony."  Fun stuff.